On Not Being Judgemental

This is a post I have been thinking about for a couple of months now and is close to my heart.This past year I have been thinking a lot about my own attitude and mentality.

If you’ve read my other blog posts it’s no secret that the internet makes me so angry.  I have always felt like social media platforms breed judgment and negativity. Not only do we judge one another in person, but now our lives are open to constant scrutiny on the web as well.

However, I’ve realized that being on social media isn’t the problem, I am. 

Regardless, the internet is still a place where people will argue over anything and I am constantly so surprised by the level of cruelty people display in their comments and posts.

But I have noticed these posts have caused me to feel negative as well. I feel angry about the way people act and mentally judge them for their actions.

I’ve noticed this behavior has seeped over into other sorts of posts too. You know that one Facebook friend who is always bragging or oversharing? or the one who is always adding you to groups unsolicited?

You know who I’m talking about.

That stuff has really been getting me frustrated and I have had a lot of negative thoughts toward these people.

I have always liked to think that I am a good person, but I started reflecting on the internet and what kind of effect it had on me and what I saw looking back wasn’t so pretty.

I always think to myself “I don’t judge”. But do you ever hear a second voice pop into your head that says “BUT what this person is doing is ridiculous”?

I definitely have. But then I came to a realization.

I am judgemental! I am a total hypocrite. I am everything I cannot stand. 

It was a harsh reality to face, but I think as I get older I am learning some important things like how vital it is to really take a look at yourself instead of just assuming you are “good”, as well as learning to accept criticism, whether it comes from yourself or others.

Do you know what I hate a lot?

“Wow, you are so young to get married, that’s insane. Why would you do that?”

That statement makes me really angry because the person doesn’t know my circumstances or why I chose to get married or how insanely happy I have been for the last year and a half because of that decision.

I started thinking to myself that my life and some of the things I do probably look crazy to some people from the outside, but that’s just because they don’t really know everything about me.

Then it clicked. 

I flashed back to myself making statements with my friends like  “I can’t believe X already has a kid, that’s crazy” or “Why does this person do XYZ?”

I have always hated the fact that because we share so much of ourselves online that we are constantly being scrutinized by our “friends” until I realized I was one of those people.

When I started thinking of my own circumstances and some of the judgment I have received I realized that I don’t always know other people’s lives or why they act the way they do.

Maybe that person who is being really mean is hurting on the inside. Maybe that mom adding me to the third direct sales group this year is trying to support her family. That person who is bragging constantly? they could be insecure and unfulfilled.

The point is, you never know, and judging or feeling frustrated at that person only brings negativity into your own life.

Our lives, thoughts, and our decisions are so unique and so different on the inside to what people see online or from the outside.

Now when I see someone post about some crazy life endeavor I think to myself “I wish them the best” as well as “its none of my business”  instead of “why?”

I really believe if we all take a step back and look at ourselves, we can grow. I learned that silently judging people on the internet, even the cruel ones, is harmful to me and brings negativity in my own life.

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